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Information for Survivors

The most common reaction of clergy sexual abuse survivors after they take action is "I wish I knew then what I know now". This section is an attempt to bring together the combined knowledge gained by abuse survivors during their fight to have their abuse acknowledged by the church and/or the legal system.

Survivors' BILL OF RIGHTS Gathered thoughts from many survivors asserting their entitlements

The DYNAMICS of ABUSE Sometimes it's hard to understand how the abuser could have done what he did to you, how you let him, and what predisposed you to being the target. Here are some thoughts.

HINTS and TIPS for SURVIVORS TAKING ACTION You're thinking of taking action, but you don't know where to start? Here are some ideas and information, pooled from many survivors' experiences.

DEFENDING YOURSELF AGAINST THE CHURCH Most survivors, when they approach the church, expect compassion and validation. What they often get is a full-scale defence against the perceived threat of exposure. Here are some ideas for countering the church's arguments. Please note: This section contains some excerpts from the Catholic catechism and canons.

LETTERS At various times, abuse survivors have written some eloquent letters to church hierarchy and/or newspapers. Here are some samples.

HOW to CHOOSE a THERAPIST Seeking a therapist, but don't know how to make sure you've found a good one? Here are some ideas from therapists and survivors, plus an article on different types of therapist and styles of therapy.

MOTIVATING THOUGHTS Many victims find it hard to separate the knowledge they were not to blame from the feelings of guilt. That makes it hard to continue to feel like they're doing the right thing in laying a complaint. This section has thoughts that may help victims keep in mind the great damage done to them, and their right to have that responded to in an ethical way.

WRITINGS BY SURVIVORS Whether dealing with the effects of abuse stimulates creativity, or whether it's creative sensitive types who are targeted by abusers, many abuse survivors write extraordinarily powerful stories. Here are some.

PTSD Post-traumatic stress disorder is an almost universal syndrome among abuse victims. It's the same syndrome those in active war service suffer from later. Yet many abuse victims have no idea that their moodiness, irritability, sleep problems, etc. have a name. Here are the symptoms; see for yourself whether you fit the majority of them.

Contacts A list of helpful contacts - support groups, legal representatives and therapists.

 

Main page / frameless * Site map and search * Info about me * Info for survivors * Info about abuse * Info about churches * General info * My story * Survivors' bill of rights * Forgiveness and apologies * Perpetrator list * Email me